When people ask me what causes the most damage in a relationship, they expect me to list out the usual suspects, like financial trouble or intimacy problems. And they’re not wrong to guess that, since both money and sex come up constantly in research on conflict. But as a psychologist who’s spent years studying couples,…
When people think about what makes a relationship successful, their first instinct is to focus on the big things like communication, trust, commitment, honesty and shared values. But as a psychologist who studies couples, I’ve found that the happiest ones pay attention to the small moments that have a big impact every day. They create…
Building a trusting relationship is the goal for most couples. We all want to feel understood and connected to the person we’re building a life with. One of the biggest factors in making that happen is communication. As a clinical psychologist, I’ve seen that the happiest couples always take the time to show interest, check…
Getty Images | Rebecca Drobis “Strangers: A Memoir of Marriage” is a book about betrayal, heartbreak and loss. But for women, the financial lessons in it are paramount. In her bestselling memoir, author Belle Burden recounts the deeply personal dissolution of her marriage after her husband admitted to an affair and left her abruptly in…
Many people assume emotional security means never feeling jealous, arguing or questioning where they stand. But couples in emotionally secure relationships can navigate discomfort without losing trust in each other. As a psychologist who studies couples — and as a husband — I’ve seen that emotionally secure partners consistently act in ways that reinforce safety,…
Habits shape how we work, how we manage stress, and how we relate to others. They determine whether we move closer to our goals, or repeat the same mistakes. The same is true in our romantic relationships. Our satisfaction, stability and sense of connection are directly related to the behaviors we default to every day. …
Building a healthy romantic relationship takes time and intention. Over time, meaningful experiences, personal disclosures and authentic conversations create closeness and intimacy. To genuinely know someone, you must understand what matters to them — their likes and dislikes, passions, limits — and respecting those traits even when they differ from your own. In fact, many…
This is the season when everyone’s planning for next year. When it comes to money, I can assure you that the secret isn’t in some fancy investing tactic, hot stock tip, or obscure cryptocurrency. If you and your partner set just one money resolution for 2026, make it this: You both stay actively involved in…
Engagement season is upon us, with December being the most popular month to propose worldwide, according to The Knot. And while traditionally men have been expected to shell out for that diamond — as Beyoncé put it in 2008, he should’ve “put a ring on it” — many women are changing their expectations around who…
Between long office days, late dinners and endless to-dos, many working couples slip into a routine of coexisting instead of really connecting. The excuses feel valid: “We’re exhausted,” or, “We’ll catch up this weekend.” The problem is that they both end up missing the everyday moments that keep a relationship alive. As a psychologist who studies couples and as a husband,…
