Parents are constantly searching for ways to get their kids to listen. But a lot of us focus too much on trying to get them to obey in the moment, rather than building genuine long-term cooperation. I’ve studied over 200 parent-child relationships, and I’m a mother myself. I’ve learned that kids listen best when they…
One of the most common myths about long-term relationships is that couples eventually run out of things to say. It’s easy to believe: Life gets busy, routines take over and conversations become more about logistics than connection. As a psychologist who studies couples, and based on my own experience being happily married, I know how…
Lucy Rout, founder of Haystack Dating. Lucy Rout Lucy Rout is not your typical entrepreneur. The 30-year-old Londoner — known for going viral for skiing off an icy slope in a bikini and for consulting her Instagram followers on whether she should fly 10,000 miles for a fourth date with a man — has used…
Every parent knows what it’s like to face tantrums, meltdowns, and emotional outbursts. They can make everyday life feel impossible. But after years of studying over 200 parent-child relationships (and from practicing healthy habits with my own child), I’ve found that parents who are really good at handling tantrums use language that soothes, validates, and guides. They…
As parents, we spend so much time helping our kids succeed on the outside — teaching them words, setting routines, and encouraging good behavior. But there’s one skill that quietly shapes whether they’ll be successful in life: self-connection, or the ability to tune into one’s own emotions, needs, and inner voice. When kids feel safe…
As a journalist, a media executive and a communication coach, I’ve spent my entire career focused on helping people communicate what’s important to them One thing I’ve noticed: When it comes to empathizing with someone sharing a personal struggle — whether it’s the trials of a troublesome teenager or losing a job — many of…
Sometimes, 24 hours just doesn’t feel like enough. Between work, commutes, and a growing to-do list, it’s easy to get through an entire weekday without really connecting with your partner. But staying close doesn’t require extra time — just intention. As a psychologist who studies couples (and as a husband), I’ve seen firsthand how small…
Many couples see intimacy as a “nice to have” in relationships. It’s sweet when it’s there, but not essential. This is especially true after the honeymoon period wears off. As a sex therapist and psychotherapist with over two decades of experience, I’m here to tell you that’s wrong. Intimacy is the heartbeat of a thriving relationship….
In successful relationships, both partners feel emotionally secure, connected, and comfortable being themselves around each other. But for many of us, romantic relationships can bring out our deepest insecurities. As a Harvard-trained psychologist who works with couples, I often tell people that emotional security in a relationship starts with seeing yourself as worthy of love,…
You’ve probably worked hard to build positive relationships. But what if, despite your best intentions, your communication is coming off as judgmental? As the author of “Managing Up,” an executive coach to top performers at the world’s biggest companies, and a professor of human behavior, I’ve seen how certain phrases — even ones that sound…
