We’re often inundated with relationship advice that rarely captures the complexity of what actually makes love work. As a couples counselor with a decade of experience working with couples and individuals trying to find and stay in love, I’ve found that one of the most underrated signs of a healthy and resilient relationship is a…
My wife and I recently celebrated our seventh wedding anniversary. In honor of the occasion, I asked couples who had been married 40, 50, or even 60 years a simple question: What relationship advice would you give to your younger selves? The participants ranged from a mid-60s couple who had just celebrated their 40th anniversary…
Cambridge Dictionary named “parasocial” as Word of the Year for 2025. Francesco Carta Fotografo | Moment | Getty Images AI chatbots, Taylor Swift, and social media influencers all played a part in deciding Cambridge Dictionary’s Word of the Year, 2025: “parasocial.” Parasocial — revealed by the global dictionary on Tuesday as its word of the…
Ask anyone what they think keeps a relationship strong, and they will probably tell you it’s love. There’s some truth to that: love is what draws us together in the first place. But after years of studying couples as a psychologist, and as a husband, I’ve realized something that research keeps confirming: The real factor…
Kai Yang Chan (left) and JiaYi Zhou (right) run Singapore-based bakery Cake Inspiration. Courtesy of Cake Inspiration When Kai Yang Chan and Jiayi Zhuo matched on Tinder at age 19, neither of them expected that it would lead to marriage. Six years later, not only have they tied the knot — they’re also business partners….
When your kid is in the middle of a tantrum, logic and lectures don’t work. I’ve studied over 200 kids and worked with hundreds of families, and one thing is clear: Tantrums aren’t about defiance. Research shows that during emotional overwhelm, a child’s prefrontal cortex (the part of the brain responsible for reasoning and language) essentially goes…
When people ask me what couples fight about the most, they expect the usual suspects like money, sex or parenting. But after years of research, and from real-life experience in my own marriage, the answer is much simpler: tone of voice. That’s right. It’s not the dishes in the sink or the unpaid credit card…
You may be familiar with the “fight, flight, or freeze” survival responses. But there’s another “F” word: the fawn response, which is perhaps less recognized, but is the one I most commonly see as a psychotherapist, and one that I have experienced in my own life. Fawning is about appeasing a threat, either real or…
We’ve all been there: You’re nursing a mistake or wrestling with a tough decision when suddenly someone swoops in with “helpful” advice you never asked for. Instead of feeling supported, you feel judged and second-guessed. There’s a psychological reason why advice that we didn’t ask for often stings. Research shows that unsolicited advice threatens autonomy…
Many parents think kids develop strong social skills from memorizing phrases like “please” and “thank you.” But the real foundation is built much earlier, at home and through everyday interactions. I’ve studied over 200 parent-child relationships, and I’m a mother myself. I’ve found that kids learn to communicate and connect by watching how their parents behave….
