One of the most rewarding things about being a parent is watching your kid grow from a child into an independent adult. But it can also be one of the hardest transitions. Every parent hopes their adult child will still want to call, still want to come home, and still choose to let them in….
As a kid, I moved around a lot. I was born in California, but I’ve lived in Arizona, Colorado, North Carolina, Virginia, Montana and Oklahoma. I never had the chance to call anywhere “home” for too long. So if you’d told me back then that I’d end up in China, I would’ve laughed. I visited…
For students, the anxiety of over-stressing about an upcoming test or project can hurt their academic performance, research shows. When parents help their kids learn to manage that stress, sometimes referred to as “test anxiety,” their results can improve — and their healthier mindset gives them a better shot at growing into successful, well-balanced adults,…
Parents today try to raise their children for good grades, perfect behavior and high achievement. We want them to do well and be able to handle challenges in life. But research shows that confidence and resilience stem from a child’s ability to feel safe being fully themselves. In my work of studying over 200 kids,…
Anyone who’s spent time around Gen Z — or watched news stories about them — has heard the stereotypes: They are more anxious, fragile, and coddled than previous generations. As a developmental psychologist at Harvard, I study the experience of growing up across generations and I’ve heard every variation on this theme. To be sure,…
We know that raising emotionally intelligent kids sets them up for future success. The challenge is that many of us were never taught those skills ourselves. Growing up, many of us heard phrases like “stop crying,” “calm down,” or “be good.” Over time, those messages taught us to suppress feelings rather than understand them. As…
If you don’t make boosting your child’s self-esteem “one of your top priorities” as a parent, you could jeopardize their future success and happiness, says mental performance coach Cindra Kamphoff. “Parents need to be more aware of the confidence crisis in America today, and they need to be really deliberate about increasing the confidence of…
For years, bedtime was the most stressful part of my day. No matter how early we started or how carefully I planned, evenings always felt chaotic. I’ve heard the same story from many of the parents I’ve worked with, and it’s understandable. Bedtime is a major emotional transition that most of us were never taught…
When a child is upset, most parents reach for the same question instinctively: “What’s wrong?” It’s well-intentioned and it comes from care. But after years of teaching conscious parenting and studying over 200 kids, I’ve seen how often that question does the opposite of what parents hope. Instead of opening children up, it can shut…
I spent seven years studying high-achieving students, interviewing hundreds of them and their families. Many young people I met described monitoring grades, rankings, and résumés as if they were constantly evaluating their worth. In some families, achievement took on an outsized role, leading some children to wonder whether their parents’ love was tied to how…
