People won’t take you seriously if you use 9 phrases, says communication expert

You’re experienced. You’re sharp. You know what you’re talking about. So why is it that people sometimes talk over you, miss your emails, or overlook your ideas? Often, it comes down to the words you use.

As a keynote speaker, LinkedIn Learning Instructor, and author of “Unforgettable Presence,” I’ve taught dozens of Fortune 500 teams how to communicate with authority and confidence. 

What I’ve found is that the most impactful perception changes come from transforming the small interactions you have every day, whether you’re writing an email, speaking up in a meeting, or even messaging in Slack. How you choose to communicate in these moments plays a huge role in how others see you.

Here are nine everyday phrases that might be quietly working against you — and what to say instead if you want people to stop ignoring you and start taking you seriously.

If you’re constantly prefacing your thoughts with “I think,” you may be signaling doubt, even when you’re confident.

Say this instead

Cut the preamble and make this powerful swap: Instead of “I think we should move forward with the new proposal,” say “I recommend we move forward with the new proposal.” 

You can always soften the tone later. A recommendation doesn’t necessarily have to be the right answer, but it shows that you have conviction, which leaders value.

This puts the burden of clarity on the listener and implies you’re not confident in how you explained something.

Say this instead

You can leave the door open for questions without preemptively suggesting that your point didn’t land. Try: 

• “Let me know if you’d like me to clarify anything” 
• “I’m happy to elaborate.” 
• “Happy to clarify further if helpful.” 

It’s still open and collaborative — helpful without sounding unsure — and keeps you in a position of authority.

You’ve devalued your message before anyone’s even read it. In most work settings, following up or making a request is part of the job, not an inconvenience.

Say this instead

Lead with purpose: 

• “I wanted to follow up on my last note to see if you had a chance to review.” 
• “I need to let my boss know by Thursday, so I wanted to check in.”

You might be trying to sound humble, but this phrase makes you sound unqualified. And if you are an expert, you’ve undermined your own credibility.

Say this instead

If you want to show openness while still making your point, try: 

• “Here’s what I’m seeing based on my experience.” 
• “One perspective to consider is…”

These phrases still make you sound confident and add a little bit of wiggle room if you’re not 100% sure.

When you’re overly tentative, it makes your request or thought seem so unimportant that it’s easy to ignore.

Say this instead

Plenty of people make requests of each other every day at work. If it helps you feel more comfortable, think of it as a necessary part of your job. Be direct (and kind): 

• “Would you be open to [X specific ask]?” 
• “Could we find time next week to discuss?” 

The clearer you are, the easier it is for others to respond.

“Just” is one of the worst offenders. “Just wanted to add my two cents quickly.” “Just following up.” And so on. It minimizes your message and makes you sound hesitant, even when your ask is perfectly reasonable. 

Say this instead

Again, be clear and direct. Try: 

• “Following up on the proposal I sent over. Would love to confirm next steps by Friday.” 
• “One other idea to consider…”

Dropping the “just” immediately strengthens your tone.

This phrasing signals a lack of commitment. When I hear it, I’m not sure if you’re simply going to try or if you’re actually going to do the task. Even if your intentions are good, it can make people question whether you’ll follow through.

Say this instead

Replace it with action-oriented language. Try: 

• “I’ll take care of that by Thursday.” 
• “I’ll update the slides before our next meeting.”

It sounds generous, but also puts you in danger of becoming the go-to person for random, low-impact tasks. You risk being overlooked for more meaningful projects or taken less seriously if you don’t clearly articulate your strengths or preferences.

Say this instead

Don’t be afraid to be intentional even as you’re being generous. Try: 

• “I’d love to support the presentation or help prep for next week’s client meeting. What would be most helpful?” 

This is a quick way to undermine credibility and show a lack of confidence. If you have a question, someone probably also has the same one.

Say this instead

Go ahead and ask without the caveat. Try: 

• “Quick question — curious how you’re thinking about [X topic]?” 
• “To clarify…”

Be careful using negative language like this. You don’t want your colleagues to hear the word “dumb” and subconsciously associate it with you!

Lorraine K. Lee is an award-winning keynote speaker and CEO of RISE Learning Solutions. She’s also the best-selling author of “Unforgettable Presence: Get Seen, Gain Influence, and Catapult Your Career,” which was named a must-read by the Next Big Idea Club. She teaches popular courses with LinkedIn Learning and Stanford Continuing Studies. Past clients include Zoom, Cisco, LinkedIn, ASICS, McKinsey & Company, and many others.

Want to be a successful, confident communicator? Take CNBC’s online course Become an Effective Communicator: Master Public Speaking. We’ll teach you how to speak clearly and confidently, calm your nerves, what to say and not say, and body language techniques to make a great first impression. Get started today.

Plus, sign up for CNBC Make It’s newsletter to get tips and tricks for success at work, with money and in life, and request to join our exclusive community on LinkedIn to connect with experts and peers.