No one is born with perfect people skills. Kids learn people skills — including communication, emotional intelligence, boundary setting, and empathy — by watching their trusted adults and practicing in real-life scenarios in safe environments.
As a certified child life specialist and licensed therapist who has supported thousands of kids and families, I’ve seen these skills help kids build confidence, navigate relationships and handle stress and challenges. Over time, kids who develop strong people skills also tend to become more flexible, adaptable, and self-reflective.
Here are six phrases kids with the best people skills might say, and what you can do to foster them from an early age.
1. ‘I’m upset’
Kids with strong people skills have seen the adults around them name and process emotions. This helps them identify their own emotions and feel comfortable expressing them.
They become more comfortable with a wide range of emotions, including not just happiness, but also sadness, fear, and worry. As kids get older, they’re able to identify and process more complex emotions like embarrassment, jealousy, and loneliness.
2. ‘My brother is upset, he needs some space’
In homes where emotions are discussed openly, kids are more likely to be aware of others’ emotions and needs. They’re often able to take another person’s perspective and have empathy toward them.
This means recognizing another’s tears or distress, and having ideas about how to support them as a friend, classmate, sibling, or peer.
It also extends into solving problems and setting boundaries. They recognize when they or another person may need some time or space to themselves and are willing to give it to them, even when it’s tough.
3. ‘Who’s going to be there?’
Parents who prepare kids for new experiences and talk through expectations often note that their child is more adaptable and socially confident.
They may be more comfortable trying new things and know what questions to ask ahead of a new experience. This helps them anticipate challenges, work through uncertainties, and come up with a plan to navigate the unknown.
Kids who are more socially confident are not fearless. They’ve learned how to gather information and prepare themselves ahead of time so that they can adapt and adjust as needed.
4. ‘I made a mistake’
When mistakes are treated as opportunities for learning, kids are more capable of apologizing, repairing, and trying again. Their parents and caregivers have likely supported them through mistakes and shown them that they’re a natural part of growing, learning, and developing.
Instead of experiencing fear, they’re willing to work together to fix and solve problems. They’re also better able to tolerate imperfections and can approach difficult moments or change with more flexibility.
5. ‘I have an idea’
Children who are more likely to speak up have grown up in homes where differences are celebrated and working together is essential. Their parents have likely provided them with opportunities to share input and use their natural strengths and talents.
This means they have more confidence to think collaboratively and take initiative, which makes teamwork and shared play experiences more flexible, creative, and fun.
6. ‘I don’t like when…’
Strong people skills are not the same as people-pleasing. Instead, these kids are able to set clear boundaries for how they want to be treated. And they feel comfortable communicating their boundaries effectively, respectfully, and assertively in the moment.
They prioritize safety, self-advocacy, and emotional awareness in their relationships. In addition to sharing their needs, they also work to listen, hear, and respect others, even when there are differences.
Kelsey Mora is Certified Child Life Specialist and Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor who provides custom support, guidance, and resources to parents, families, and communities impacted by medical conditions, trauma, grief, and everyday life stress. She is a private practice owner, mom of two, the creator and author of The Method Workbooks, and the Chief Clinical Officer of the nonprofit organization Pickles Group.
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