We’re often inundated with relationship advice that rarely captures the complexity of what actually makes love work. As a couples counselor with a decade of experience working with couples and individuals trying to find and stay in love, I’ve found that one of the most underrated signs of a healthy and resilient relationship is a…
When your kid is in the middle of a tantrum, logic and lectures don’t work. I’ve studied over 200 kids and worked with hundreds of families, and one thing is clear: Tantrums aren’t about defiance. Research shows that during emotional overwhelm, a child’s prefrontal cortex (the part of the brain responsible for reasoning and language) essentially goes…
As parents, it’s our job to give our kids the tools they need to face struggle without breaking. I’ve studied over 200 parent-child relationships, and I’m a mother myself. My goal has always been to teach kids how to process hard feelings and move forward. Mentally strong kids know how to regulate their emotions, trust themselves,…
When you dream about being happier in the future, you’re probably imagining yourself being content with what you have. Maybe you picture a new house or a luxurious lifestyle. But what you’re really imagining is being satisfied with those things. You’re not just picturing wealth, you’re picturing contentment. That’s the feeling we’re all chasing. But…
When people ask me what couples fight about the most, they expect the usual suspects like money, sex or parenting. But after years of research, and from real-life experience in my own marriage, the answer is much simpler: tone of voice. That’s right. It’s not the dishes in the sink or the unpaid credit card…
You may be familiar with the “fight, flight, or freeze” survival responses. But there’s another “F” word: the fawn response, which is perhaps less recognized, but is the one I most commonly see as a psychotherapist, and one that I have experienced in my own life. Fawning is about appeasing a threat, either real or…
We’ve all been there: You’re nursing a mistake or wrestling with a tough decision when suddenly someone swoops in with “helpful” advice you never asked for. Instead of feeling supported, you feel judged and second-guessed. There’s a psychological reason why advice that we didn’t ask for often stings. Research shows that unsolicited advice threatens autonomy…
As with many of her fans, Taylor Swift and her discography has long been an important part of my personal story. She even became an unexpected source of inspiration during a moment of career transition. I left my job as an aerospace engineer and human spaceflight designer at NASA to pursue an MBA at Harvard…
Parents are constantly searching for ways to get their kids to listen. But a lot of us focus too much on trying to get them to obey in the moment, rather than building genuine long-term cooperation. I’ve studied over 200 parent-child relationships, and I’m a mother myself. I’ve learned that kids listen best when they…
No matter what your age is, you may have experienced an occasional memory challenge, like misplacing your car keys or walking into a room and forgetting why you’re there. These are normal incidents of age-related forgetfulness. But I’ve discovered that the key to excellent memory is to be intentional and proactive with cognitive-boosting activities every…
