I spent seven years studying high-achieving students, interviewing hundreds of them and their families. Many young people I met described monitoring grades, rankings, and résumés as if they were constantly evaluating their worth. In some families, achievement took on an outsized role, leading some children to wonder whether their parents’ love was tied to how…
As a relationship counselor with over 10 years of experience, I’ve learned that even the strongest couples face conflict. What sets emotionally intelligent couples apart is their ability to stay connected, even when disagreements arise. I’m often more concerned about couples who never fight, because avoiding conflict entirely can hide unresolved hurts. After all, the…
As a clinical psychologist, I often have to caution clients to examine the sparks that they feel for a new romantic prospect. You want to be excited about someone new and feel a deep connection to them. But many of us carry old wounds from our childhood, previous relationships, or formative experiences. If your past…
It’s important to build resilience, but how do we actually do it? I’ve spent 15 years researching happiness, and I’ve interviewed thousands of people about what makes it possible for them to thrive. I’ve learned that resilience isn’t something you’re born with. It’s not even about bouncing back, a concept that often does more harm…
Before your child even steps out the door every day, their emotional baseline for the day is already set — not by color-coded routines, but by how safe and connected they feel in your presence. As a conscious parenting researcher, I’ve studied more than 200 kids, and I’m a mother myself. I’ve found that the…
For the past three years, I’ve written letters to myself and scheduled them to send to me a year later. Here’s why the practice can benefit your mental health. Source link
As parents, it’s our job to give our kids the tools they need to face struggle without breaking. I’ve studied over 200 parent-child relationships, and I’m a mother myself. My goal has always been to teach kids how to process hard feelings and move forward. Mentally strong kids know how to regulate their emotions, trust themselves,…
When most people prepare for a newborn, they’re focused on baby names, sleep routines, and diapers. As a child life specialist, therapist, and mom of two, I did one other thing early on: I created an email address for each of my kids and started writing to them long before they’d be able to read…
You may be familiar with the “fight, flight, or freeze” survival responses. But there’s another “F” word: the fawn response, which is perhaps less recognized, but is the one I most commonly see as a psychotherapist, and one that I have experienced in my own life. Fawning is about appeasing a threat, either real or…
We’ve all been there: You’re nursing a mistake or wrestling with a tough decision when suddenly someone swoops in with “helpful” advice you never asked for. Instead of feeling supported, you feel judged and second-guessed. There’s a psychological reason why advice that we didn’t ask for often stings. Research shows that unsolicited advice threatens autonomy…
