When people ask me what causes the most damage in a relationship, they expect me to list out the usual suspects, like financial trouble or intimacy problems. And they’re not wrong to guess that, since both money and sex come up constantly in research on conflict. But as a psychologist who’s spent years studying couples,…
When people think about what makes a relationship successful, their first instinct is to focus on the big things like communication, trust, commitment, honesty and shared values. But as a psychologist who studies couples, I’ve found that the happiest ones pay attention to the small moments that have a big impact every day. They create…
Many people assume emotional security means never feeling jealous, arguing or questioning where they stand. But couples in emotionally secure relationships can navigate discomfort without losing trust in each other. As a psychologist who studies couples — and as a husband — I’ve seen that emotionally secure partners consistently act in ways that reinforce safety,…
