Saying “no” is essential in parenting. But setting limits shouldn’t start and end with that one word. As a certified child life specialist and licensed therapist, I know that saying “no” is meant to help kids feel safe, supported, and understood. I often help kids understand: “Your parents aren’t saying ‘no’ to control you, they’re…
A decade ago, I boarded a one-way flight from Houston to Madrid with a suitcase and a rough plan to teach English for a year. I was 35, and I knew I needed a change. As the daughter of Colombian and Iranian immigrants growing up in Texas, I never quite felt like I belonged anywhere….
In 2011, I walked away from a six-figure law career and retired at age 41. I thought I was prepared financially. But emotionally? Not so much. After decades of working, I was used to the sense of purpose that came with a career, and I assumed I’d have to give that up once I stopped…
Last year, while researching for my book “Healthy to 100: How Strong Social Ties Lead to Long Lives,” I visited five of the world’s healthiest countries — Singapore, Japan, South Korea, Italy, and Spain — to see how they keep older adults active, engaged, purposeful, and healthy. I picked these countries because they have some…
As parents, it’s our job to give our kids the tools they need to face struggle without breaking. I’ve studied over 200 parent-child relationships, and I’m a mother myself. My goal has always been to teach kids how to process hard feelings and move forward. Mentally strong kids know how to regulate their emotions, trust themselves,…
When you dream about being happier in the future, you’re probably imagining yourself being content with what you have. Maybe you picture a new house or a luxurious lifestyle. But what you’re really imagining is being satisfied with those things. You’re not just picturing wealth, you’re picturing contentment. That’s the feeling we’re all chasing. But…
When people ask me what couples fight about the most, they expect the usual suspects like money, sex or parenting. But after years of research, and from real-life experience in my own marriage, the answer is much simpler: tone of voice. That’s right. It’s not the dishes in the sink or the unpaid credit card…
When most people prepare for a newborn, they’re focused on baby names, sleep routines, and diapers. As a child life specialist, therapist, and mom of two, I did one other thing early on: I created an email address for each of my kids and started writing to them long before they’d be able to read…
In 2015, I packed up my life in Austin, Texas and moved to Madrid. I was 35 and it wasn’t my first attempt. I had spent more than a decade dreaming, trying, and failing to make Spain home. Since then, I’ve built a life in Spain and created She Hit Refresh, where I’ve helped hundreds…
You may be familiar with the “fight, flight, or freeze” survival responses. But there’s another “F” word: the fawn response, which is perhaps less recognized, but is the one I most commonly see as a psychotherapist, and one that I have experienced in my own life. Fawning is about appeasing a threat, either real or…
