As a clinical psychologist, I often have to caution clients to examine the sparks that they feel for a new romantic prospect. You want to be excited about someone new and feel a deep connection to them. But many of us carry old wounds from our childhood, previous relationships, or formative experiences. If your past…
It’s important to build resilience, but how do we actually do it? I’ve spent 15 years researching happiness, and I’ve interviewed thousands of people about what makes it possible for them to thrive. I’ve learned that resilience isn’t something you’re born with. It’s not even about bouncing back, a concept that often does more harm…
Between long office days, late dinners and endless to-dos, many working couples slip into a routine of coexisting instead of really connecting. The excuses feel valid: “We’re exhausted,” or, “We’ll catch up this weekend.” The problem is that they both end up missing the everyday moments that keep a relationship alive. As a psychologist who studies couples and as a husband,…
I tried for over a decade to move to Spain. I went to study Spanish at 21, teach English at 26, and get my master’s at 29, but always ended up back in the U.S. Back then, my options to stay long-term seemed so limited: get transferred through a company, marry a local, or have…
Before your child even steps out the door every day, their emotional baseline for the day is already set — not by color-coded routines, but by how safe and connected they feel in your presence. As a conscious parenting researcher, I’ve studied more than 200 kids, and I’m a mother myself. I’ve found that the…
We’re often inundated with relationship advice that rarely captures the complexity of what actually makes love work. As a couples counselor with a decade of experience working with couples and individuals trying to find and stay in love, I’ve found that one of the most underrated signs of a healthy and resilient relationship is a…
It’s natural to want to comfort a child when they’re crying. When parents see their kid hurting physically or emotionally, they often want to do anything in their power to stop their heartache. As a dual certified child life specialist and therapist, I’ve heard parents and even health care workers telling kids “don’t cry” while…
My wife and I recently celebrated our seventh wedding anniversary. In honor of the occasion, I asked couples who had been married 40, 50, or even 60 years a simple question: What relationship advice would you give to your younger selves? The participants ranged from a mid-60s couple who had just celebrated their 40th anniversary…
I’d imagine people usually feel anxious about making a drastic life change like picking up and moving to a new country. But I remember sitting in the airport in Los Angeles, Tony Tony Chopper water bottle in hand, feeling excited and eager to start my new life. All I could think about was finding a…
Ask anyone what they think keeps a relationship strong, and they will probably tell you it’s love. There’s some truth to that: love is what draws us together in the first place. But after years of studying couples as a psychologist, and as a husband, I’ve realized something that research keeps confirming: The real factor…
